


Finding his own way

by Anonymous



Category: The New Mutants (2020)
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, First Kiss, M/M, Multi, Relationship Negotiation, Roberto is trying his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 16:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30142392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Berto hated his father for breaking his mother's heart. Finding himself in love with two people - neither of whom would meet his father's expectations - just goes to prove how much of a failure he is. But sometimes not following the path planned works out.
Relationships: Roberto da Costa & Illyana Rasputin, Roberto da Costa/Sam Guthrie, Sam Guthrie & Illyana Rasputin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: X-Men Rare Pairs 2021





	Finding his own way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TriffidsandCuckoos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TriffidsandCuckoos/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [TriffidsandCuckoos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TriffidsandCuckoos/pseuds/TriffidsandCuckoos) in the [xmenrarepairs21](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/xmenrarepairs21) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Ideally as poly. Sam is ace, Illy is aro, Berto is not the brightest but he has a lot of love to give in whatever form is wanted.

When he'd been younger, Roberto's biggest fear was ending up like his father. He'd hated him, burned with resentment at the man who treated his mother so poorly. He'd tried to be a good son, but he was never smart enough, never good enough. His father hated him, and Roberto knew that. He was born to be a disappointment. 

His father had told him once that he would marry someone that he chose.

"What if I don't like her, Father?"

"Then you can find other ladies. Just make sure you don't have any kids, I don't want you wasting the fortune on alimony. When you're older, I'll take you to my social club, and I'm sure you'll find women you like there."

Roberto had stayed quiet, thinking of all the times he'd found his mother being upset, knowing his father had caused it even if he didn't understand what he had done. He knew this was part of it. That his father found companionship with so many women, and not his mother. 

And then he'd got older. And he'd learned more about his father's social club, and what it meant. But at the same time his own gift came through.

There were days he spent crying, feeling helpless, wondering if this was all his fault, or whether his best bet would be to go to them, to ask for help from people who wouldn't care he'd burned someone alive, as long as they weren't of the right sort.

He had nightmares about it. Saw himself dressed as the Black King. And he told himself he would never do that. When he found a partner, he would be loyal. He would take the wedding vows seriously, he would love her with all he had and all he was.

Life had a way of messing up his plans.

For a start, when he did fall in love - it wasn't with a her. It was with Sam Guthrie, the kind of guy that his father'd hate. Not because there was anything bad - Sam was a great guy, better than he deserved. But Sam was poor. Poor in a way that Berto couldn't really imagine. 

And he feared he was turning into his father, because he had dreams and he saw Sam there, among the girls at the Club, and he wanted him. He wanted him so much, he ached for him, dreamed of him, woke up gasping with need and yet...

Maybe if it had just been Sam, that would have been okay. He had strayed from his father's goals, but he'd found a path and he was happy. That would work out.

Only it wasn't just Sam. Because Illyana was beautiful and chaotic and a warrior. Seeing her fight made his heart race, and he adored her, wanted to worship her. He wasn't sure if he loved her. Wasn't sure if he loved Sam. 

Couldn't imagine loving them both. He'd never be that lucky. He didn't deserve... he was too stupid. Which is why he wasn't surprised when he went up to Sam's room to see if he was free and found he wasn't alone.

Catching her and Sam sitting on Sam's bed, Illyana kissing him, broke Berto's heart. But he knew he deserved it. He couldn't face them seeing him, couldn't face the look he knew would be on Sam's face, because Sam never wanted to hurt anyone. He wasn't the kind of guy Berto was. Berto'd been greedy, and that meant he didn't get either of them.

He ran away, to his own room, pulling the door closed. He wanted to cry. He was angry with himself. Guys like him didn't get to be happy with guys like Sam. They weren't right for each other.

it was weird. He'd always thought Sam and Illy were almost like siblings. He wondered how long it had been going on, how often he'd missed significant glances because he was too stupid to realise what they meant. It wasn't what he wanted to think about, but it was like a scab - he couldn't stop looking.

He sat on the floor, and tried to keep calm, breathing deeply to pull back in the tears and smoke that threatened to escape. He was stronger than that.

He didn't feel strong at all.

Hearing someone else in the room with him made him tense, closing his eyes. Because it had to be Illy - she was the only one who could come in without going through the door. He didn't want to look at her.

Illy was always blunt. And he got it. Sam was smart, and Illy was smart. And they deserved better than a murderer like him. Sam'd set off a reaction, it'd been an accident. And Illy killed on purpose. But he was stuck in the middle - he hadn't meant to do it. But he'd killed by his own hands. He'd killed someone who loved him.

Sam and Illy deserved better than a murderer.

She grabbed his hair, made him look up at her, and he complied, blinking to try and hide the fact he was near tears. He didn't deserve to cry.

"I was teach him to kiss, you idiot." Illy told him. "He likes you, not me. We were talk about an arrangement."

Before Berto could say another word, ask any questions, she had gone.

He couldn't begin to understand what she meant by an arrangement.

He thought it through again.

She'd said that Sam liked him.

Berto practically tore his door from its handles, racing down the corridor to get to Sam's room.

Sam was still sat on the bed, where he'd been kissing Illyana, and he looked utterly confused and lost. Berto hurried to his side, reaching out for him. "Are you... are you alright?"

"Yeah, 'm fine. Was jus'...well. You ran off then Illy ran off, an'... I weren't sure if either of yer were coming back."

"I'm here now." Berto muttered, gazing into Sam's eyes. "Illy said she was teaching you?"

"Yeah. She said she knew how an'... you know. I ain't... I ain't got much to offer. But I like you. An' I thought kissing might be nice."

"Yeah?" Berto grinned. "Wanna find out?"

"Long as you get that I ain't... I ain't doin' more'n that."

Berto nodded. It didn't make sense, but that didn't matter, not if it was what Sam wanted. He leaned in, kissed him gently.

Sam’s lips didn’t feel like a girl’s. And nor were the hands that rested on his arms - they were rough, but. They were Sam’s, and that made them right. Sam smiled against his mouth, and Berto felt a warmth flooding him which had nothing to do with the sun’s flares. 

When Sam pulled away, Berto could see he was wearing one of Berto’s old shirts, and that made him proud. He knew his father would be furious, but he wasn’t ashamed. 

“Illy an’ me, we were talking ‘bout you.” Sam muttered, his accent thicker than normal. Nervous. “She likes you. Likes… doin’ stuff, if it’s with the right person. An’ I… I like kissin’ yer. Like curlin’ up, because … you hugged me sometimes, an’ it feels good, but I ain’t… I ain’ gonna do more’n tha’ an’ if tha’s a problem-”

“It isn’t.” Berto told him quickly. “I… I mean. I don’t… I like…” Words all jumbled together, and Berto felt like a disappointment. He took a deep breath. “I like you. And I won’t cheat.”

“It ain’ cheating. Illy don’... she don’t wanna date you. But we should talk ‘bout that with her…” Sam shrugged, and leaned against Berto’s side. Berto slung an easy arm around his waist. “But I like yer. And I like… this.”

“I… I like this too.” Berto admitted, before he decided to be brave, to tell the truth. “I love you. And I think I might love Illy too but… I don’t want to hurt either of you.”

“I know.” Sam said, with such certainty it took Berto’s breath away. He couldn’t imagine his mother and father ever trusting each other to that extent, feeling that sure. If Sam - good, honest, smart Sam - could trust him, then he would try to trust himself. He would never meet his father’s expectations. And that was a good thing.


End file.
